Hong Kong Christian Service

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Issue 003
2014 Sep

Men's happiness

From time to time, people at different stages of their life will ask what is happiness? Experts, academics have conducted many researches, analysis trying to define it. And apart from an individual's happiness, what is a happy family? Our Family Networks Integrated Family Service Centre (Family Networks) conducted a survey about happiness of man in terms of an individual and within their families. It reveals that 30% are dissatisfied with both communication at home and the present condition, among them, their sense of happiness as an individual and in families is lower than that of women's; and in particular, those unmarried are also lower than those who are married, and the emotional connection is also lower between unmarried men and their family of origin.

Actually, before the findings came out, Family Networks used focus groups to find out the level of happiness among men. They mainly concentrate on men, not only because they found out no matter on an individual’s level or within family, their sense of happiness is obviously lower, but in fact the role of man in a family is very important, especially in maintaining the sense of happiness within a family. How to make them more involved in the family in order to gain support, even as early as before they get married, will have an important impact on their future role in a family.

For those who are married, the communication between the couple plays an important part in a marriage. We found that women value the intimacy, communication and emotional support more; on the contrary, men are less skillful in expressing themselves, they even suppress their emotions, therefore, we encourage both men and women to learn the differences among themselves and respect such differences. For example, men could allow women to voice their expression without giving comments or attempting to solve their problems. For women, they can simply show that they care without probing, feeling doubts or to belittle the other party.

After the release of the result of the survey, our Family Networks adopts overseas experiences about improving family happiness in designing activities for families, such as the activity for fathers to be held from October to December and an outing (under planning) for men to let them get to know about themselves as well as making use of the occasion to relax. Our Family Networks also organised an activity for families to cook in the nature so that members of participating families could cook together and the event provides quality time for parents and their children, through which they learn to appreciate one another, just like our social worker, Mr Chak Ho Yin said, this activity was not only welcome by the families, it received amazingly rewarding result in building up relationship among themselves.

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