After graduation, Mr. So committed himself in the field of computer and technology. With 15 years of experience, he was employed by his present company as a middle management. Mr. So appeared to be a successful guy, going up the ladder in a promising IT company and having a family with loving wife and kids. However, Mr. So experienced emotional disturbances a year ago: worsen physical health, excessive worries and very low self esteem. People did not know Mr. So was under huge stress in his new position. As a 40-year-old manager, Mr. So thought he was mature enough to handle any difficulties and didn't want his company to lose confidence in him. He chose not to disclose his pressure to supervisors, wife and his peers. The prolonged stress made it hard for him to concentrate at work, which in turn, impeded his work performance. He had thought of quitting, but when considering his financial status and career development, Mr. So dropped the idea. As a result, he felt even more helpless and desperate.

There is a saying in Chinese, "Midlife is filled with sorrows." This reflected that some people had a pessimistic view about midlife stage, which is also termed as "midlife crisis". At middle age, people always expect to be a stage of stability. However, just like other developmental stages, middle age has its own developmental tasks to fulfill. As responsible adults, people in midlife take on many roles: a caregiver to elder parents, an intimate partner to the spouse, a parent to raise bright kids. At work, they are supposed to be able to secure their jobs and bring financial stability to their family. Living in a busy and productive-oriented society, like Hong Kong, people at their midlife stage always find themselves in conflicting demands of time and energy amongst roles, which, consequently, create enormous distress to them. If the distress is left unresolved, an individual may have doubts about oneself as well as his/her choices in marriage and career. Without proper support, any unexpected changes, such as financial downfall, investment failure, deployment and sickness, will cause problems to one's physical and emotional health.

Good news: research suggests midlife crisis can be triumphed!

Firstly, to understand, accept and prepare

Life is change. It's not only restricted to midlife! We have to understand and accept the fact that we all have to face social expectations, role competition, menopause and empty nesting. When we are well prepared psychologically, we will be able to work out our plan as scheduled and be able to overcome the challenges in a positive manner.

Secondly, to manage stress effectively

People are busy making a living and often forget to leave personal space for self-refreshing. Exercise on a regular basis is good to boost positive moods. Practicing relaxation exercises for 5 to 10 minutes every two hours at work helps regain your efficiency. Taking a walk at the countryside during holidays widens your mind and allows you to ruminate over the path of your life. Your body is the tool for you to bring your desire to reality. Don't tire it out!

Thirdly, to develop a flexible mind

Midlife is perceived as a stage of maturity and full of experience. But the questions is: does a person's wisdom limit his/her way of thinking and acting in this ever-changing world? As some people say, the silliest thing a person would do is repeating ineffective act but expecting an effective result. To enrich your problem-solving ability and be able to look at things from different perspectives, an open and flexible mind is definitely needed.

Fourthly, to establish your supporting network

We all come across problems every now and then, and we may not always be able to solve the problems without the help of others. To those who are in the midlife stage, you are not alone. You may want to share your feelings and difficulties with others and gain emotional support from them. In case, you cannot find anyone you feel comfortable to open up with, you may want to confide to professional counselors and consultants through the telephone hotline service as well as the face-to-face interviews. With their professional knowledge and skills, you will be helped in such areas as to identify problems and ultimately get through the crisis.

With the help of counselor, Mr. So understood the cause of his stress. To stay fit both physically and psychologically, Mr. So exercised and practiced relaxation regularly. Having his parents- in-law to provide care for his children, Mr. So and his wife were able to free themselves up for leisure activities for at least half day of a week. With effective time management, Mr. So was able to spare time for his social life. Furthermore, he had taken a short-term course to better equip his management skills and alleviate work stress.

It is suggested that midlife can be an opportunity for regeneration of self. That means to reflect who we are and what really matters to us, to guide us to psychological and spiritual wholeness as well as to redirect our time and resources to achieve a more enjoyable and productive second half of life. Besides, the sense of enjoyment and achievement will also extend to caring and nurturing to the next generation, contributing to a harmonious and caring society.