In recent years, domestic violence is on the rise. One of the main reasons has to do with the language content and tone of voice used during family arguments. In order to understand the correlation between parents' use of positive and negative language on their children with the children's self image, family relationship and social skills, HKCS Family Networks - Yau Tsim Integrated Family Service Centre conducted a survey in October 2006. 845 students from Primary Four through Six were interviewed.

The survey found that children who constantly hear positive statements from their parents, such as words of encouragement, admiration, comfort and appreciation tend to do better in terms of self image, relationship with their parents and social interaction. The study found that parents tend to scold boys and encourage girls more. The older children were subjected to a higher frequency of scolding from their parents.

30% of the children interviewed said that they were hurt most by insults and degrading words from their parents. 20% felt most hurt when their parents used threatening language.

Based on our findings, we urge parents to pay attention to the things they say to their children. "Positive words" is highly recommended. Parents are encouraged to appreciate their children more specifically and concretely, by recognizing their children's effort and commending their good personal qualities or well-meaning motives. Besides, parents must learn to control themselves. They must never use insulting, degrading or threatening words even when they are angry. We also encourage parents to pay more attention to the needs of the boys as well as the older children. They need encouragement and support from parents. This will reduce possible friction caused by teenager's rebelliousness as they step into puberty. Positive words will enhance harmony at home.